My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
