Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
