And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
