Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
