the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
