I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize