im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
don't judge my taste in strippers
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
