1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
