I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
