I'll bet she douches with gravy.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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