Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
