Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
