Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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