glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
