I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
