College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
