Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
