I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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