im drinking this country out of the recession.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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