I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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