Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Randomize
