I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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