i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I see more hoeing in ur future
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