the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
