I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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