the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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