dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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