she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
