I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
