Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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