They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
