Need sex. Gaining weight.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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