Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
