oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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