Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
