is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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