I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
