So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
