maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
