If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
