And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you inspire me to be a worse person
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
