I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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