a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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