if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
