OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
