what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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