Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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