eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
