I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
