kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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