This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
