I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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