Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize
