Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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