my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
