i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
