Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
