No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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