i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
