I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
nutella sex= disaster
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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