Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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