D3 body, D1 cock
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
