The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
