things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
