i just sent this text using only my big toe
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
