I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
